Times They Are A'Changin'...

It has happened. Somewhere, sometime...I blinked and the little girls that needed help with...everything now need help with nothing. Last Friday, Jillian, Anna Mei and Elizabeth (ages 12, 10 and 9) asked if they could go out for lunch. Together. Alone. True, they needed a ride. But they had their own money, their own plan, their own conversation. They didn't need direction, advice, funds or suggestions. The didn't need...me.

Don't get me wrong. My heart is joyful at this new development. I am proud of their initiative and ability. I am satisfied that they understand the value of the meals they purchase and have pre-determined what and what is not "worth it." I am delighted that they love each other and want to spend special "girl time" with one another. But...there is a part, small but real, that knows I have been left behind in the wings while my little stars shine.

And that's not all. Just 24 hours later, Jillian announced that she "felt like cooking." So she baked a banana bread (from scratch) in the rice cooker--something I have not yet attempted myself. And the day after that, the "3 older girls" were in the kitchen again...making strawberry-banana-yogurt smoothies in the blender. There were samples all around. Each person had her own particular method, special ingredient or presentation of the product.

There is no going back. The skills they have will only grow. The independence, excitement and sense of accomplishment will only pull them further. The wings that once held them close to me have been lifted higher and higher, until they seem nearly parallel to the ground.

I remind myself they still need me. I know they do. But they need me differently. It is a transition that I do not relish right now.

I am not a pessimist. I believe that our greatest days are ahead. More laughter, more tender moments, more memories are waiting to be experienced and made. Still, I am not quite ready to forget or sweep away the moments of "come tuck me in" and "read me a story."

There IS one comforting thought...Faith has told me she intends to stay small and live with me forever. Her sincerity makes me smile, but I think I feel a tiny tear forming in the corner of my eye.